A young man from Sydney, sitting in his car and breaking down, shared a story that was raw, authentic and real. His TikTok reached hundreds of thousands of people.

“I’m so f*cking lonely, and I spend every day pretending that I’m not.”

While wiping away his tears, he shared what was real for him. Loneliness. Heartbreak. Feeling lost and unable to find what he was looking for.

These words rang true for men and women around the world, sparking feelings that are often bottled up and never said out loud.

What happens when one person goes first

His outpouring gave permission for others who relate to his experience to speak up as well. The comments came flooding in.

“This is the strongest and bravest thing I’ve seen anyone do.”

“This one video could save a man’s life one day. So powerful and raw.”

“Watching this felt like looking in a goddamn mirror.”

So often in our workshops, young boys share their inner worlds for the first time. And more often than not, this gives permission for the other young men in the room to realise that what they’re feeling is okay and that they are not alone.

This clip does exactly that. It gives permission to be real.

The thread underneath

But what lies underneath this story is a thread we’ve seen before.

“I try to stay fit and keep myself looking good, but it’s just not enough. It’s just such a mask for what I’m feeling inside.”

Young men are being handed an identity blueprint by the manosphere about money, fitness and status. An identity that’s hollow underneath.

They’re told these things will resolve everything they’re experiencing in life. But if we’ve learned anything, it can lead to an unhealthy path. One where everything on the surface is prioritised and what’s going on underneath is never explored.

The emotional gym

This is not to say that looking after your body and staying fit is unhealthy. But if that’s all we do, we miss what’s happening below the surface.

With the boys we work with, we talk about the emotional gym. Just as we train our bodies, we equally need to train our emotions and our understanding of what we’re feeling.

By equipping young men with the tools and emotional language early on, we can help them build the systems they need.

The same systems this man needed.

So, Luh

We want to honour you for being the most real version of yourself and doing the hard thing.

Your story not only gave the world a glimpse into the inner worlds of many people out there, but it gave permission for hundreds of thousands of men to know that what they’re feeling is real and okay to speak about.

Thank you for reminding us why we do this work.

And that being human is okay.

If you feel the same as Luh, we see you

Real connection is the antidote to loneliness. And it can be found in a few places.

Men’s Circles: structured spaces where vulnerability and authenticity are the norm, not the exception.

Third Spaces: follow your interests. Sport, music, Dungeons and Dragons, whatever it is. Community built around doing something together is one of the most natural ways to build connection without it feeling forced.

Professional Support: a therapist, counsellor or psychologist. Normalise it as a tool, not a last resort.

You don’t have to carry it alone.