When we talk about role models, this is who we’re talking about.
On a recent episode of the Two Doting Dads podcast, two men sat across from each other and did something quiet and significant. One of them told the truth about the hardest years of his life. And the other one listened.
That might not sound like much. But for a lot of men, it’s everything.
Ash Wicks, co-host of the Two Doting Dads podcast, shared that he was nearly 100 days sober. He could have kept it light. Kept it surface level. Kept it private.
He didn’t.
He talked about the voice. The one that tells you that you’re not enough. The one most men never name out loud, let alone say in front of an audience.
“My brain was like… you suck.”
That’s the part most men never say out loud. The voice. The pressure. The thoughts that sit underneath everything.
He talked about how he’d handled it for years: by not handling it. By pushing it down. By reaching for something that kept it quiet.
“I hadn’t dealt with it. I’d just pushed it down.”
Alcohol kept it quiet. Until it didn’t.
“There were nights where it was like… this is all too hard.”
He could have stopped there. Most do. But he kept going. He talked about the guilt. The impact on his family. The realisation he hadn’t been fully present.
“I hadn’t been giving 100% to my kids… now I’m so present.”
That’s what stepping up actually looks like. Not perfect. But honest.
Across from him, co-host Matty J showed what it actually means to be a mate.
He didn’t interrupt. Didn’t fix it. Didn’t try to wrap it up or crack a joke to cut the tension. He sat with him. Gave him space. He met him in it.
And then he said this:
“I’m just so thankful that you are talking about it. I would never want you to underestimate the strength that you have to do that. I really want to just say well done.”
Not banter. Not deflection. Presence. His response said: I am here, mate. I am in this with you.
Listening. Staying. Not looking away when it gets hard.
Boys are building a picture of what manhood looks like from everything around them. The men they watch. The conversations they overhear. The moments where someone could have looked away and chose not to.
What Ash and Matty J showed is that being a man isn’t about staying quiet, pushing it down, or pretending you’re fine. It’s about telling the truth, even when you could stay silent. And being the kind of friend who can hold that truth when someone else shares it.
We see versions of this in our workshops all the time. A boy says something real. The room goes quiet. And then someone leans in instead of away. That’s the moment. That’s where things shift.
Because when one man speaks, and another one stays, that’s where change happens.
That’s leadership. That’s strength. That’s a role model.
So Ash. So Matty J.
Thank you for doing the hard thing. You’re both true champions of masculinity.
Want boys to grow up knowing how to be this kind of mate?
Our workshops give boys the permission, language and space to be honest with each other.
Find out more at themancave.life/programs/school-workshops/